(no subject)
Apr. 21st, 2002 11:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
prysmicdorkNow that I'm thinking about the whole relationship muddle, there are two side trackish things that come to mind.
One. Finally met the cousin's fiancee and am currently thinking "hmm. not so bad". 'Cause heh. He's a media geek. Comic books, movies, had an interesting scratch at them during lunch. He didn't have anything really startling or cool to say about them, no big shiny brain vibes, but then I don't think I came as the stellar wit either. All of my cousins, heck, at times the whole bloody family, can be a bit of a mystery to me, but for some reason this one in particular. Maybe it's because we're so close in age, she's only two years older and I've spent a lot of my life looking ahead to her.
About two and a half to three years ago, she got out of a serious relationship and basically found religion. I thought it was weird, we're a pretty non religious family with the exception of my grandmother (it's the same on both sides actually), but she wasn't freaky about it, so I thought "okay".
Then, a while later she became a Mormon, which was yeah, weirder. Because, Mormons. And that's not exactly a go to church only on Easter type of religion, is it. Plus, the whole me being queer thing, I don't think they're big on that and I didn't like the idea that she might be okay with some of those thoughts. I still don't and I still don't know what she thinks because I haven't come out to my family (which is a while 'nother issue), but it's kind of scary, that my sweet, nearly-perfect cousin might. Hate.
Anyway, so she's a Mormon now and getting married and that's weird. Deeply weird. Because, you know, I'm 10 and she's 12 and we're much too young for that. Forever. It's weird to me how much she seems to want it, this being married thing. How much she wants to be someone's wife, probably someone's mother. That she'll be a part of someone else's family now.
My mother's side has remained impossibly intact, husbands come and go (although we hope that they're all done now), but the sisters, though there are now only three, stick together. Largely the next generation, my generation, has hung on. I have two other older cousins, both boys and neither of them has shown any real signs of breaking away (much as one of them might like to think), there are no wives, no children, they're basically the same boys that I've seen at every Christmas of my life, only now in their 30s.
The point being, that she's the first one, the first one to change things. And this year, Christmas might be different and that makes me a little sad.
One. Finally met the cousin's fiancee and am currently thinking "hmm. not so bad". 'Cause heh. He's a media geek. Comic books, movies, had an interesting scratch at them during lunch. He didn't have anything really startling or cool to say about them, no big shiny brain vibes, but then I don't think I came as the stellar wit either. All of my cousins, heck, at times the whole bloody family, can be a bit of a mystery to me, but for some reason this one in particular. Maybe it's because we're so close in age, she's only two years older and I've spent a lot of my life looking ahead to her.
About two and a half to three years ago, she got out of a serious relationship and basically found religion. I thought it was weird, we're a pretty non religious family with the exception of my grandmother (it's the same on both sides actually), but she wasn't freaky about it, so I thought "okay".
Then, a while later she became a Mormon, which was yeah, weirder. Because, Mormons. And that's not exactly a go to church only on Easter type of religion, is it. Plus, the whole me being queer thing, I don't think they're big on that and I didn't like the idea that she might be okay with some of those thoughts. I still don't and I still don't know what she thinks because I haven't come out to my family (which is a while 'nother issue), but it's kind of scary, that my sweet, nearly-perfect cousin might. Hate.
Anyway, so she's a Mormon now and getting married and that's weird. Deeply weird. Because, you know, I'm 10 and she's 12 and we're much too young for that. Forever. It's weird to me how much she seems to want it, this being married thing. How much she wants to be someone's wife, probably someone's mother. That she'll be a part of someone else's family now.
My mother's side has remained impossibly intact, husbands come and go (although we hope that they're all done now), but the sisters, though there are now only three, stick together. Largely the next generation, my generation, has hung on. I have two other older cousins, both boys and neither of them has shown any real signs of breaking away (much as one of them might like to think), there are no wives, no children, they're basically the same boys that I've seen at every Christmas of my life, only now in their 30s.
The point being, that she's the first one, the first one to change things. And this year, Christmas might be different and that makes me a little sad.
