(no subject)
Apr. 22nd, 2002 12:03 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
prysmicdorkTwo. The announcement of the whole thing, the wedding thing, was a little sudden. They've been engaged a month or two (you can see how exact time is in my mind) and things seemed to be preceding at a leisurely pace, when wham. They're going away for the summer, so they want to be married first. Yesterday we had a bridal shower at one of my aunts' house (also a strange experience) and in four weeks they're getting married. Whoosh.
So my mom, being the type of person she is, who would really like to know and plan for things years in advance, says to me "If you ever get married, you'd better give me more than four weeks" or something to that effect. Now okay, I'm okay with that I thought after she said it. And then.
If?
Now I don't really date, well, ever, at least not in a normal way, so I can her not thinking that it's going to happen any time soon. At the same time, I'm rather sure that as far back as I can remember, that "if" hasn't been there. When you get married. When you have children. This "if" is new.
So. Of course now I'm wondering, what is she thinking? Because she said it again. At length even. Referring back to my cousins, we later had an interesting conversation where the remaining three of us were grouped together as potentially not getting married.
Because, on the surface, why shouldn't I get married someday? Sure I don't date now, but I'm coming out of a longtime depression, getting back on my feet, getting life figured out and I'm about to go away to school, where I could potentially meet lots of interesting men.
She's obviously thought about this. Once could be a random choice of phrasing, but not a whole conversation. So. Yeah. Does she think I'm gay? The nose ring. The short haircut (it was very baby dyke at first). She vacuumed in my room and tidied up my piles a bit yesterday. I'd gotten a copy of "But I'm a cheerleader" from the library and somewhere floating around is a copy of Out that I never got around to reading. The pretty girl on my desktop wallpaper. And those are just the cursory things that come to mind, who knows what might present itself if I could look myself and my stuff over with an observer's eye.
I can't quite bring myself to say anything to her because I'm not really ready to talk about it yet, but I have to wonder.
Anyway, something to talk to my therapist about on Friday. Heh. Gotta love families.
So my mom, being the type of person she is, who would really like to know and plan for things years in advance, says to me "If you ever get married, you'd better give me more than four weeks" or something to that effect. Now okay, I'm okay with that I thought after she said it. And then.
If?
Now I don't really date, well, ever, at least not in a normal way, so I can her not thinking that it's going to happen any time soon. At the same time, I'm rather sure that as far back as I can remember, that "if" hasn't been there. When you get married. When you have children. This "if" is new.
So. Of course now I'm wondering, what is she thinking? Because she said it again. At length even. Referring back to my cousins, we later had an interesting conversation where the remaining three of us were grouped together as potentially not getting married.
Because, on the surface, why shouldn't I get married someday? Sure I don't date now, but I'm coming out of a longtime depression, getting back on my feet, getting life figured out and I'm about to go away to school, where I could potentially meet lots of interesting men.
She's obviously thought about this. Once could be a random choice of phrasing, but not a whole conversation. So. Yeah. Does she think I'm gay? The nose ring. The short haircut (it was very baby dyke at first). She vacuumed in my room and tidied up my piles a bit yesterday. I'd gotten a copy of "But I'm a cheerleader" from the library and somewhere floating around is a copy of Out that I never got around to reading. The pretty girl on my desktop wallpaper. And those are just the cursory things that come to mind, who knows what might present itself if I could look myself and my stuff over with an observer's eye.
I can't quite bring myself to say anything to her because I'm not really ready to talk about it yet, but I have to wonder.
Anyway, something to talk to my therapist about on Friday. Heh. Gotta love families.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
commiseration
Date: 2002-04-22 09:44 am (UTC)I feel even sorrier for my sister, who I'm pretty sure is a lesbian. She and my mom get along really well, but mom still had a really hard time coming to terms with the fact that Lindsay is pagan, and I imagine that would make it even harder to talk with her about stuff like sex. My family isn't the Bible Belt Texan types, and they're very understanding and tolerant -- they love my friend Troy to death, and were outright surprised by the fact that I hadn't figured out he was gay till he told me -- but there's definitely that conservative Republican undercurrent running deep.
But.
Lindsay's got her own support group of people at school, and I'm pretty sure that she can rely on them to love her and be there for her even when the parentals are just dense. Don't forget that you have a support group too. We're a little more spread out at the moment, but in time you can build a nice little right there pseudofamily. :)
*hugs*