A fat girl goes shopping...
Jun. 17th, 2002 09:28 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
prysmicdorkNo, it wasn't as bad as it could have been. We went to the mall, my mum and I, but after 6 so the usual population was in fewer numbers. First we went to Lane Bryant. And that wasn't so bad. Yeah. It's a "plus size" store. But most of the clothes are pretty, well, pretty. Not this weird sequins and satin, sort of southern look that a lot of clothing companies seem to thing fat girls like. Got a cute peasant-y top because it made me feel pretty. Which is nice.
One thing you learn real fast as a fat girl is what it feels like to be judged every day of your life. Every. Fucking. Day. Even if I don't go out, I still have to look in the mirror and despite my best intentions and complete awareness of what's going on, I too am programmed by society.
I'm doing pretty good in school, transferring off to a four year (despite a really crappy transcript not a year ago) and I still don't get as big a reaction from people as I did when I lost a good deal of weight at 16-17. "You look so good", people said. You are so good, is sort of what they meant. Though at the time I was skirting a major depression, doing badly in school and doing my best not to notice that my parent's marriage was tanking.
So yeah. I was thin once and it was okay. But it didn't stop me from getting depressed, from making lots of bad choices, from leaving school.
And personally. I like round girls. Really like. Not as much as I am right now, now is not healthy, though I'm working on it. But round is nice. Breasts and shape. Solid. All of that is so. Yum.
One thing you learn real fast as a fat girl is what it feels like to be judged every day of your life. Every. Fucking. Day. Even if I don't go out, I still have to look in the mirror and despite my best intentions and complete awareness of what's going on, I too am programmed by society.
I'm doing pretty good in school, transferring off to a four year (despite a really crappy transcript not a year ago) and I still don't get as big a reaction from people as I did when I lost a good deal of weight at 16-17. "You look so good", people said. You are so good, is sort of what they meant. Though at the time I was skirting a major depression, doing badly in school and doing my best not to notice that my parent's marriage was tanking.
So yeah. I was thin once and it was okay. But it didn't stop me from getting depressed, from making lots of bad choices, from leaving school.
And personally. I like round girls. Really like. Not as much as I am right now, now is not healthy, though I'm working on it. But round is nice. Breasts and shape. Solid. All of that is so. Yum.